worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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