You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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