He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
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best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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