3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize