i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
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True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
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I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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