whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize