If that was your dad, he is hot
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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