yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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