think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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