So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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