All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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