i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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