i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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