I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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