She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize