Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize