She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize