Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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