hotel room ftw
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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