mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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