I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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