dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize