the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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