From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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