I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize