Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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