So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
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I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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