All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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