After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize