I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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