And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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