there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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