i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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