sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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