omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize