Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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