I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize