my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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