Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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