Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
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He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is my gift to your gina
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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