You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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