Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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