I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
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You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I party with great urgency now.
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