You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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