well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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