My friends, they love my intelligence
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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