Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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