Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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