I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
These tits shall not be calmed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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