Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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